The Melbourne Cut

This week Tiger Woods is playing golf in Melbourne. This is a matter of great importance, especially for Australian fashion. One news reader announced, in that tone of amazed awe that only news readers can have, that his entire wardrobe is planned a year in advance. Very annoying of her, because now I keep checking to see his latest outfit – I couldn’t care less about the golf. It must be horribly tedious to know what you’re going to wear all next year. What happens to your dress schedule if you have a wardrobe malfunction?

Apparently Melbourne sets the fashion for the rest of Australia. A few weeks ago ladies dressed up in feathered hats, and hats that were just feathers in honour of the Melbourne Cup, the nation’s most prestigious horse race. There were kiss-deterring wide brims, nifty nets and plumed affairs that looked like a mid-air collision between two birds. Of course, the ladies of Perth also dressed up in similar fashion to follow the race on the big screen. Champagne breakfasts and chocolate fondue were the order of the day. Wonder what will happen when tennis season comes along.

Of course, not all Australian fashion is fine feathers. I’d say if you own a few t-shirts, thongs (I’m talking footwear, not…well, you know what), and an indecently short pair of shorts you’re on your way to being one of the best-dressed persons this summer. Of course, a strappy maxi-dress is a must for the evenings – preferably one that is a mass of colour. I still can’t figure out why summer dresses often look like they’ve survived a paint shop explosion, when winter clothes are only black, grey or black.

Naturally, beauty is skin deep. In Oz, this means you’re truly trendy if you sport a tattoo. My neighbour has a magnificent eagle on his right arm – probably the logo of a local footy team. This isn’t just jock fashion though…girls can have tattoos as well. The doctor who did my medical test before I arrived was rather disbelieving when I told him I didn’t have one. No doubt I’ve committed a fashion faux pas, but I think tattoos have become the brand of this generation, and I refuse to be branded.

I’ll leave the feathers and frills for other girls. No sunshine on this girl’s shoulders – I’m slapping on the sun block and sticking my sunnies on my nose. After all, in Oz these are fashion accessories too, and you never leave home without them. I may not be Aussie, but you can’t  say I’m not fashionable!


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